Unsettled
by Lerolain
Summary: Five years after she defeated Malak, Revan returned wanting nothing but peace and quiet. But now she wants more. 'Please, Force, just let something happen to me!’ Is she ready for what the future holds?
1. Hello Stranger

This story is dedicated to all the people who thought my previous story Full Circle should have had a final chapter. I reread it and thought 'Maybe they were right'. I started that last chapter for you, and it sparked new ideas, and it became this new story. Don't worry – you **don't** have to have read Full Circle first. Hopefully it's all self-explanatory.

XXX

_Narula Republic Fleet Base – five years after Malak's defeat._

The ensign tracking the approaching shipping moved his fingers over the terminal, half his mind on the job and half his mind dreaming of being elsewhere. With his mind as much on autopilot as the spacecraft around him, he directed supply ships to cargo bays, returned crew transports to the staff shuttle bays and tracked flight paths, ensuring there were no collisions. He had been on shift for over seven standard hours – only thirty minutes to go and he could go meet Lieutenant Nira in the bar…

The terminal bleeped an urgent warning and he snapped back to reality. There was a small freighter approaching that didn't appear on the schedule. This was unheard of in the Fleet, which ran with strict precision. Security had been tight during the unsettled times that followed the Mandalorian Wars. Any break from procedure was a high level security breach

He called the Dock Commander over and pointed out the suspicious ship.

'Does it appear in any of our records?' asked the officer.

The ensign quickly tapped out a sequence. The data file that flashed up made the Dock Commander reach for his communicator.

'Get me Fleet Admiral Dodonna right away.'

XXX

Forn Dodonna was rudely awoken by the chiming of the comm. She blinked the sleep from her eyes and ran her fingers through her short hair, trying to tame it. She recognised the face of the Dock Officer, but couldn't dig his name out of her sleep-fogged brain.

'This is Dodonna. Go ahead.'

'Ma'am, there is a ship on approach. It's unexpected, so we checked the records. We found a security flag with your name on it.'

'The name of the ship?'

'The _Ebon Hawk_, ma'am.'

Dodonna's eyes widened. 'Direct it to my private hangar. Have a security team meet me there right away. They are not to do _anything_ until I get there!' She leapt out of bed as she spoke and began pulling on her uniform over her pyjamas.

Barely had the Dock Officer cut the channel than she opened another to the Fleet Command Centre.

'I want a message sent to the _Sojourn_ right away. Tell Admiral Onasi to get back here now.'

'You're recalling the fleet?' asked the surprised technician.

'No. Just him.'

XXX

Fleet Admiral Dodonna nodded curtly to the sergeant in charge of the security team. He saluted smartly.

'Ma'am, Dock Command have warned the pilot to remain in the ship until you give them permission to disembark. Scans report only one sentient aboard. There is at least one droid, but the engine emissions are making picking out ion signatures difficult.'

'Very well. Form up behind me, men. Blasters ready, but you are not to shoot unless I give the signal.' The men fell into position without a word.

Taking a deep breath, Dodonna opened the first airlock door. The _Ebon Hawk_ was not a ship she would ever be able to forget. Before the battle of the Star Forge Master Vandar had warned her that Revan was still alive, but she had not believed it. Surely the elderly Jedi had made some mistake? She had scarcely been able to believe her eyes when she met the woman hours later. It seemed to be a truly different person standing before her. Carth Onasi had certainly thought so, she remembered with a wry smile. In the years since then it had proved easier than Dodonna had expected to think of Revan as Lera Lain. But Dodonna's first priority was the protection of the Republic, and though she had suppressed it that original uncertainty had never left her. She thought her suspicions had been justified when Lera had disappeared four years ago. But then the Hawk had turned up on Telos without her aboard, and Dodonna no longer knew what to think.

_The sixty four million credit question is 'Who has come back?'_ she told herself. _Lera or Revan?_

Once all the soldiers were in the airlock she closed the door behind them and opened the hangar bay door. She strode forward, blaster pistol held loosely by her side. The soldiers' boots drummed the floor rhythmically behind her as they spread out.

'Open the ramp,' she said into her communicator. The operative in the booth above relayed the signal to the Ebon Hawk, and moments later the ramp opened.

XXX

The shuttle from the _Sojourn_ dropped out of hyperspace and began the approach route to the base.

'Get me Dodonna on the line,' said Admiral Onasi irritably. He'd been waiting ten hours to say those words. He had been on manoeuvres with his wing of the Fleet and hated to be interrupted, especially with no apparent reason.

This was irrational, he knew. Anything that couldn't be spoken about on subspace channels was secret enough to be more important than training. He'd survived the last four lonely years by absorbing himself totally in work. His wing were efficient, loyal and well trained because of the time he had put in. They were good enough to cope without him for a while. But he still felt he should be there, whatever this was about.

The pilot shook her head. 'Dock Command says she's unavailable.'

'I knew they'd say that.'

'I think they knew you'd ask, sir. They had her excuses ready.' She smiled and Carth had to force a smile back. Normally he'd leap on the chance to laugh at Dock Command with their endless procedures, but there was nothing funny about this. Dodonna's absence was just too convenient.

Two security officers met him at the airlock. They led him to the detention area, of all places. Carth's confusion grew. Obviously he was in no trouble, but what could possibly be so important here?

Dodonna was waiting for him by the reception desk. 'Thank you for coming at such short notice, Carth.' She had dark rings under her eyes, he noticed, and her tone betrayed her state of mind. She must be tired to call him by name. Normally she had to stop herself from calling him 'Admiral' outside shifts. 'I am sorry for the secrecy, and for recalling you. We have a … situation. I believe you are best placed to deal with it.'

'Is this about those smugglers again? I'm sure my investigation –'

'There's a prisoner you need to identify.' She hit the button to open the cell corridor and waved him in. 'This is top security. I had the cells cleared of all but her. First room on the left.'

Carth walked into the corridor on shaky knees. Her? Had the Exile returned already? He'd told her clearly he hadn't wanted any news, but obviously she'd only heard what she'd wanted to. He put his hand on the security reader. It couldn't be good news this soon.

'Welcome, Admiral Onasi,' said the female computer voice. The door hissed open.

The woman in the cell spun around. Her grey-black hair was loose, hanging almost to her waist, and it changed the look of her face so much that for a split second he wondered who this was. But her face lit up in a familiar smile as she watched him nervously.

'Hello, stranger,' she said shyly.

He crossed the room in three strides and picked her up, arms closed tight around her waist. He held her close until she stopped shaking. He could hear himself saying her name over and over but couldn't stop.

'I didn't know if you'd be pleased to see me,' she whispered.

He pulled away a little, far enough to look into her eyes. 'Lera, sometimes, for a former Jedi, you're not very clever,' he said through a dry throat. She smiled, but there was sadness in her eyes.

'You have no idea,' she said. 'It's a long story. I've been trying to explain it to Forn, but I don't think she believed me. It truly is me in here, Carth.' She hadn't expected the cool reception Dodonna had given her, and needed him to believe.

'I believe you. Let's get this sorted out.' He took her hand and led her out. His hand was shaking as much as hers.

XXX

The security detail shot the pair strange looks as they left, but Carth shook his head imperceptibly at them and they stood back.

The silence between them grew as they walked to the turbolift. Carth kept stealing sideways glances at her, making sure she was still there. She caught him looking and smiled.

'So, what did I miss?' she asked.

'Dustil is stationed here now. I thought he would join the Jedi after we left him on Telos, but he joined the Fleet instead.'

'From what I've heard he made the safer choice.' The Jedi had been hunted almost to extinction by Sith assassins. Now more and more were coming out of hiding, more than anybody had thought were left, but their numbers were still depleted.

'He's going out of his way to create trouble though,' said Carth darkly, but before Lera could question him the turbolift stopped. The doors opened onto a huge dome. Walkways weaved though clusters of strange plants. Stars twinkled through the transparisteel above them.

'What are we doing here?' she asked, recognising the senior officers' hab-block.

'We live here. I'm an Admiral now, in case you didn't notice.' He tapped the pins in the collar of his jacket. 'I had to move out of our apartment. But it's alright,' he added quickly, seeing the disappointment on her face. After all, it had been their first and only home together. It had hurt him to leave it too. 'You'll like this one more.'

'I'd better.' She stuck out her bottom lip.

'Cute.' He led her halfway around the dome and pressed her finger to a security sensor in the centre of a door. It opened with a quiet hiss and she let out a low impressed breath.

The door opened onto a large room. Cream carpet (an almost unheard of luxury on a space station) covered the floor and two white couches were arranged facing the holo-screen on the opposite wall. But it was the right hand wall that caught her attention. A long window looked out over the station, and out over the huge curve of the planet's surface below. She walked over to get a better look. Carth came and stood behind her, his hands resting lightly on the curve of her waist. She turned half back to him and rested her head on his shoulder. They stood together in silence for some time, watching the light slowly creeping over the planet beneath.

'I knew you'd come back,' he whispered. She could feel his breath warm in her hair and tightened her hold on him.

'I would have come back sooner, but I… it's a long story.' It still hurt to remember how Kreia had tricked her, sending Lera far away from the Republic so she couldn't interfere while Kreia plotted.

'I have time.'

She kissed him softly, but desire for him welled up in her and the kiss grew more desperate. 'Not right now, you don't,' she said breathlessly.


	2. Just Let Something Happen!

Aboard Narula Base, Lera Lain looked out of the lounge window at the lush green planet revolving below. After two years she still had not tired of the sight of dawn breaking over tiny mountains and puddles of oceans.

But, though it was painful to admit it, there were things she had tired of. She had run back to Carth after four years alone away from the Republic. All she had wanted was the ordinary life she had been forced to leave behind.

Now that desire was waning. She often woke from dreaming of their adventures before they had ever come to Narula wishing they could fire up the Ebon Hawk again and go adventuring together. Lera would have suggested it to Carth, but the Fleet was important to him and his sense of responsibility kept him here. She didn't want to leave without him, but he wasn't enough to fill the expanding void inside.

Lera had just come back from a shift as an orderly in the medibay, but it had been a quiet day that had not tired her as much as usual. She felt fidgety and unsettled. She wanted to _do_ something, but couldn't quite work out what. She tidied the apartment, summoned a laundry droid and bundled their dirty clothes into it, and then sat down heavily on the sofa, still unsatisfied.

The door chimed and she opened it. Dustil stood there, with an expression that she had come to be quite familiar with recently.

'You'd better come in,' she said. It was a sign of how bad things had become that this was the only intrigue in her life.

'I need to talk to you,' he said. 'And you… you can't tell my dad.'

She smiled conspiratorially at him. 'Have I ever? Come on, I'll put some caf on.' She led the way into the kitchen and he sat down at the table. He put his elbows on the table and rested his chin in his hands.

'What's her name?' asked Lera lightly.

'I'd think you were reading my mind…' he began

'…if you didn't always come to me with the same problem,' finished Lera.

'Yes, but this time it's different.'

'Wasn't it different last time too?' She smiled to take the sting from the barbed comment.

Dustil didn't smile back. 'No, this time it really is different. I think I've found someone I could love. Really love.'

Lera nodded, but left the silence to stretch out. He needed to get this out in his own way.

'She's beautiful. I've only spoken to her twice, but I know she's a wonderful person. I think she might like me too.'

'Does she have a name?'

'Well, this is where I need your help. You're going with Dad to the Victory Ball, aren't you?'

Lera wrinkled her nose at the mention of the annual formal party thrown for high-ranking members of the Fleet.

Dustil grinned. 'I'll take that as a yes, then. Can you get me an invitation too?'

'I bet Carth could.'

Dustil's smile widened. 'Great. She'll be there, I know she will.'

'Who? Put me out of my misery!'

'Admiral Dolvenna's daughter Shelya.'

Lera groaned.

XXX

The Dolvenna family had moved to Narula from Coruscant four months before. Although not actually a demotion in rank for the Admiral, the move was seen as a sign of his fall from favour. It hadn't taken long to realise why.

The Admiral had a superiority complex the size of a star going nova. He was almost unbearable to be around, looking down on everything and everyone around him. Nothing on Narula met his high standards. Crews were lazy, organisational operatives were dreamers, ships were under-maintained and dangerous, and just what was that _awful smell_ coming from the aircon? He had already had several clashes with Carth and Dodonna, and even the officers under his command had complained about him.

And, worse for Dustil, he kept a close eye on his daughter, guarding her honour as though she were some sacred virgin out of an ancient myth. It was a wonder that Dustil had managed to get a glimpse of her at all.

XXX

Lera cast a sly glance at the closed door of the bathroom to make sure Carth was out of sight before fastening the buttons on the back of her green gown with the Force. In the two years since her return she had used it less and less, associating it with exactly the kind of trouble she wanted to forget about. But now it seemed exciting and romantic, the kind of trouble she now craved. Using it made her feel a little guilty though. Lera the Admiral's woman was not the same person as Lera the Jedi, and she was not satisfied with being just one of them. She didn't know if she could have both.

It wasn't just use of the Force that she'd let slide, she thought, looking at herself critically in the mirror. Where once she had been lean and muscular, now she was curvaceous and soft. She wasn't overweight, but she wasn't in shape. She knew she couldn't run around or fight like she used to anymore.

She scowled.

'Is it cold in here?' Carth came out of the refresher behind her. 'I felt a chill.'

'I haven't changed the settings,' she said, not taking her eyes from her reflection.

'You look beautiful,' he said, admiring her from the doorway.

His compliment only made her angry, but she took a deep breath and pushed it away. She didn't feel beautiful, and didn't like the idea that he might actually prefer her this way.

'Are you OK?' He came to stand behind her, eyes full of concern.

'I'm fine,' she said brightly, finding a smile from somewhere and plastering it on. 'We should go, or we're going to be late.'

XXX

Late in the night, Lera rose silently and slipped out into the kitchen without waking Carth. She felt unreasonably guilty about how excited she felt at this little secret, but not enough to go back to sleep.

She organised four plates on the table and began to juggle them with the Force, slowly at first, then faster as the feeling became familiar again.

But it wasn't enough. Rage flashed through her and she threw the plates at the wall with the Force, shattering them. She put her head in her hands and cried.

'Please, Force, just let something _happen _to me!'


	3. Emotion And No Peace

Apologies in advance if any stray druids made their way into this story. Why anyone would be fighting twelve combat-class _druids_ is beyond me, but to my spellchecker it seemed perfectly logical. I think I chased them all away though, and pointed out the error of its ways to my spellchecker.

XXX

'Hey, Admiral! Come look at this!' Rohin, the captain of Carth's flagship the _Sojourn_ and long time friend and sparring partner, waved him over. Still a little stiff after his workout, Carth ambled over to the window.

Long curving corridors surrounded the training arena several meters below, and it was from here that a growing crowd gathered to watch the display. Faces pressed to the glass, trying to get a closer look. Rohin moved aside to make space for Carth.

Twelve combat-class droids ringed the arena, surrounding a lone human female in the centre. She wore a light combat suit, and a training helmet that covered the whole of her head and hair. She held a vibroblade in a relaxed ready stance. The remains of four droids already lay sparking at her feet.

As one the functional droids raised their arms. A murmur erupted from the crowd.

'She's got their blasters on!'

'They'll be on stun, calm down,' said someone else.

But once the droids opened fire, it was clear that they were not set to stun. The beams met in the middle of the arena in a blinding blue flash. The crowd shouted like one being. Surely the crazy woman hadn't survived that?

As the smoke cleared it was obvious that she had. Two droids were now down but the rest were closing in on her. Two raised their whirring combat chainsaw attachments and brought them down towards her. She dodged almost faster than the eye could track and they neatly severed each other's arms. Her vibroblade slashed twice, and their heads landed beside their fallen arms. Their bodies hit the floor in perfect unison seconds later.

The other droids were crowding her now. She leapt fully her own height off the floor and ran along their shoulders to land lightly behind them. A backward swing cut the rearmost droid in half.

'Vibroblades shouldn't do that,' someone muttered.

The droids turned on the spot and opened fire, trying to spray blaster fire over a large area so she couldn't escape. But she somersaulted and dodged the deadly beams agilely. Twenty seconds later the droids' programming realised this was a waste of energy and stopped. They began to circle again, trying once more to surround her.

One behind her raised its blaster fist. The end heated up as it prepared a super-charged bolt. It appeared that the woman had not seen it. The crowd shouted and banged on the window to alert her.

In the split second before it fired it seemed it was too late for her. Yet somehow, in the time it took the blast to reach her she spun and blocked it with her vibroblade. The blast ricocheted back to the droid, melting its torso.

There was no time for the crowd to think about this impossible feat. The woman leapt for another droid, neatly disembowelling its hydraulics and wiring before it could bring its combat arm to bear on her.

The remaining six droids readied their own combat fists and charged her. But she made the normally swift droids look like they were wading through mud. She seemed to be toying with them, taking an arm here, a slice of armour there. Her sword swept through them with graceful ease.

Rohin laughed beside Carth, obviously enjoying himself. 'She's great!'

Carth scowled. 'She's going to get herself killed.'

'Are you blind? You think she can't take four droids?'

There were indeed only four droids left now, he saw. Only two were still whole. The other two shook sparking arms at her as a human would shake a fist. She raised her sword in an obvious challenge.

The droids weren't up to it. Less than fifteen seconds later she was the only thing standing in the arena. She walked serenely back into the access tunnel, not seeming to hear the raucous applause from above. Only Carth Onasi didn't seemed impressed.

'What's wrong with you, old man?' asked Rohin. 'A great battle, a great show, a great body – what's not to like?' He regretted it instantly as Carth turned his angry stare on him. The Admiral's knuckles were white where he gripped the handrail. Rohin thought he saw fear in his old friend's eyes as well, but Carth grabbed his bag and left without saying another word or even bothering to change.

XXX

'_What the hell is wrong with you_?' He was so angry he couldn't have kept his voice down if he tried.

Lera looked up innocently from setting the table. 'What are you talking about?'

He strode round the table in three big strides and gripped both her upper arms tightly. 'Don't pretend! Did you think I wouldn't recognise you? You could have been killed!'

'But I wasn't.' She twisted free of his grip and stared him down.

Carth sat down heavily at the table, his rage replaced suddenly by something else. He put a hand to his forehead, covering his eyes. 'You don't need to hide it from me, you know,' he said softly, all his rage gone. 'I know what you've been doing. You're using the Force again. I suppose you thought I wouldn't notice? Do you think I'm going to try to stop you?'

She was quiet and wouldn't look at him.

'Talk to me, Lera. Tell me what's wrong, what you want. I know you're unhappy. Tell me what I can do to make it right.' He hated the pleading he heard in his voice, but couldn't make it go away.

She looked up. The regret in her eyes broke his heart.

'There's nothing you can do,' she said.

Silence stretched out between them.

XXX

For two days they avoided each other. Every time Carth came back from his shift he expected to find her things gone, but though he didn't see her she was obviously still around. He felt too depressed to tidy up, but when he returned the apartment was obsessively tidy. When there were no Sith to take things out on she always tackled chores. He just wanted to talk to her, but she knew how to be difficult when she wanted. He'd been attracted to that stubborn streak from their first days together. It had certainly made their courtship more exciting. Now it made every argument ten times worse than it had to be.

He sat behind his desk in the Admiralty offices on the station, staring into space. He kept running over in his mind what he would say to her when he saw her, but no words could say enough.

Bleeping from the terminal in front of him snapped him back to reality. All these damn reports would never be ready at this rate. But it was the comm chiming, not some reminder of a deadline. He answered it, hoping he looked more professional than he felt inside.

'Onasi here.'

'Get to my briefing room right away, Admiral,' Dodonna said. There was a furrow between her eyebrows, meaning this was not good news.

'What's wrong?'

'We're mobilising the Fleet for war.'


	4. The Fleet Leaves

Carth returned to find Lera sitting on the sofa, staring out of the window. None of the interior lights were on. The landing lights on the outside of the space station stained the room blue and white and red. She looked up at him as he entered, but said nothing.

He sat on the low table in front of her, staring at the floor. He was dreading her reaction to his news – dreading most of all that she would not react. 'I'm leaving in twenty-four hours. They've given me six hours to sleep and pack my things, then I'll be needed to assemble the Fleet.'

She sat forward, her face so close to his that he could feel her breath on his cheeks. 'It's all anyone is talking about on the station. I've heard the rumours. I…' Her voice broke into a sob and she fell forward into his waiting arms. He held her gently while she cried into his shoulder.

'Why now?' were the first coherent words she could manage.

'Why not now? I guess the universe doesn't bother much about bad timing.' But his light tone masked his feelings – his second thought(after considering the military implications for the Republic Fleet), had been to wonder why this had to happen while they were not on good terms.

'I'm sorry I hurt your feelings before,' she said. 'Everything just came out wrong. I'm not the same person I was, that much was true. I don't know what it is that I want any more, but you have to understand that I still love you.'

'I know. I love you too, and I always will, no matter what you decide you want. Even if…' he took a deep breath but it didn't make forming the words any easier. 'Even if that doesn't involve me.'

She nodded. 'Then I suppose we'd better make the most of what time we've got left.'

They made love with a fever born of desperation and grief, their pent up emotions almost violent in their release, inflicting pleasure like pain. Afterwards, once the lights were out and they were both supposed to be trying to sleep, Lera lay facing away from him letting tears slide down her cheeks. She thought he was asleep until he slid an arm around her waist, rolling her over to face him.

'Will you promise me something?' he asked. 'Be here when I get back. Don't walk out on us while my back is turned. At least say goodbye properly this time.'

She winced. All the old wrongs they had long forgiven were dragged out and used as ammunition when they argued, but this one hurt her more than any other.

'I…' she opened her mouth to say she would, but she wasn't sure she could keep such a promise. 'I'll try.'

'That's the best I'll get, I guess,' he said sadly, turning onto his back, staring at the ceiling in the dark.

'I'll just have to have all my adventures while you're away,' she said. 'Maybe I'll stow away somewhere on your fleet. You'd never know.'

He pulled her on top of him. She squeaked in surprise and pleasure. 'Don't, beautiful. Don't even joke about it. I want to know that you're safe here.'

She kissed him tenderly. 'I'll stay safe if you will.'

'It's a deal.'

He only realised later, once it was far too late, that she had not promised him anything.

XXX

Dodonna stood in Dock Control, watching the Fleet preparing for the jump to hyperspace. Two wings, fully two thirds of the available ships and personnel on Narula, were heading to the Benaar system. Led jointly by Admiral Onasi and Admiral Dolvenna, the task force was a fearsome fleet, easily enough to put a halt to the rebellion taking place.

Official reports from Republic Intelligence stated that a political coup had taken place, that the Planetary Defence Force had put one of their generals in power and ceded from the Republic. Before they were hunted down, the governing party had sent out distress calls. Ordinarily, if a system wished to leave the Republic they would be allowed to, but not when it went against the wishes of the people. Reports from the system indicated that this was definitely the wishes of the few over the many.

Dodonna was vaguely aware of Lera Lain standing near her. The woman had an absent expression on her face. Her gaze was focussed on the distant Fleet. Dodonna wondered how different the scene looked to a Force-user. Could Lera pick out the _Sojourn_ and Carth Onasi at this distance? Was that the reason for her absent stare?

Behind Lera stood Shelya Dolvenna. The girl was dressed up as though going to a formal dance and Dodonna looked away before the younger woman noticed her scowl at her inappropriate attire. Though stunningly beautiful, Shelya was disdainful and arrogant, much like her father. Dodonna had noticed she was cowed by displays of authority, but was saving this particular card until she needed it. Now that the girl's controlling father was going lightyears away, that time probably wasn't too far away.

An ensign at a desk beside her said 'They are ready to depart, Ma'am. All ships report status in the green.'

'Thank you. Task Force Omega, this is Fleet Admiral Dodonna. You are cleared to jump to hyperspace. Good hunting.'

The fleet flickered and disappeared. Dodonna let her shoulders relax and breathed out. Now the waiting game began. She turned around to usher Lera and Shelya out of Dock Control.

Shelya smiled at Dodonna, but though her mouth curved prettily the smile didn't reach her eyes. 'Don't worry. With my father in command, and Admiral Onasi helping out, they'll be back in a matter of days.'

Dodonna didn't feel like explaining the finer points of a joint command to the deluded girl. She would only hear what she wanted not matter what she was told. She tried to shoot a warning glance at Lera so that she didn't say anything contradictory, but the woman wasn't looking. She was staring down at the floor. All the blood had drained from her cheeks, leaving them ghostly white.

'Lera?'

'Forn,' she breathed. She looked up, and Dodonna took a step back when she saw the fear in the Lera's eyes. 'I think… I think… Oh.' Her eyes rolled up in her head and she crumpled to the floor.

Dodonna was at her side in an instant, kneeling on the hard floor. After a few tense moments Lera's eyes flickered open.

'Lera? Talk to me!'

'I don't think I got enough sleep,' she whispered. 'I should go home.'

'You should. Shelya! Help her to her quarters.' She put a little of her commanding tone in her voice and was relieved when the girl moved to help Lera to her feet. It was a risky strategy, but there were no Fleet personnel to spare.

'Of course, Admiral.'

XXX

Lera sat down heavily and tried not to think. In a second, the universe had changed for her. The Force had shown her that nothing would be the same as it had been from this point onwards. For better or worse, she didn't know yet.

Behind her she could hear Shelya's heels clattering on the kitchen floor as the girl prepared drinks.

'Here you go.' A mug clanked down heavily on the table in front of her. Hot caffa slopped out over the side, but Lera barely noticed.

Shelya sat down beside her. 'You're Dustil Onasi's mother, aren't you?'

Lera shook her head. 'No. His mother died a long time ago.'

'But you are Admiral Onasi's wife.'

'No, we're not married.'

'Ohhh.' It was a very telling syllable, full of contempt. Lera almost told her to leave there and then. She didn't need to be spoken down to by this snotty upstart debutante. The girl carried on blithely. 'Dustil had a thing for me, you know.'

'Really.' Lera said flatly, trying to will her to leave without actually being rude.

'Yes, but he wasn't for me. I mean, he might be the son of an Admiral, but he's only a pilot. It just wouldn't be right.'

'I expect your father climbed the ranks too. Nobody is born an Admiral,' Lera found herself inwardly reciting the Jedi code for the first time in years. _There is no emotion, there is peace_. _No emotion! Stop it!_

'Oh, what do you know? You're… what, a nurse? You take orders from the _medical_ _droids_. The only reason you live in this kind of luxury is because you screw an Admiral…' Her tirade dried up as she saw the anger blazing in Lera's eyes.

'Please, continue,' said the older woman, barely restraining herself from shouting. Her voice trembled with the strain of sounding reasonable. 'Don't let the facts get in the way of a good story.'

'I suppose you feel you can be rude to me, now that your meal ticket's out of the way and my father isn't here to keep you in line.'

Lera scowled. 'It's considered rude in polite society to insult someone when you are a guest in their home.' _But_, she reminded herself, _striking out in anger is worse than rude. So stop thinking about how good it would feel!_

'What do _you_ know about polite society?'

Lera opened her mouth to snap back, but the girl was already walking for the door.

'It's making me feel dirty even breathing the same air as you. Goodbye.'

The door hissed closed behind her. Two mugs of steaming hot caffa shattered against it moments later.

XXX

Two weeks after the task force left, a single fighter limped home.


	5. In Control Again

Apologies for the delay in updating.

XXX

Lera felt Dustil's presence the instant the fighter dropped out of hyperspace. Making hasty excuses she ran from the medibay to the hangars, using the Force to guide her to the right one.

She met Dodonna and a security detail approaching from the opposite direction.

'Lera?' Dodonna seemed surprised to see her, and filled that single word with distrust and irritation. Until she heard what the pilot of this small fighter had to say, this incident was classified, and civilians were not welcome.

Lera had not even stopped to consider Fleet procedure on her way here. Only now did she realise how this must look from Dodonna's point of view. It wasn't enough to make her turn around. 'I'm sorry. But Dustil is in there.'

Dodonna shook her head. 'You shouldn't be here. Go back to your quarters. If there is news, you'll find out when it is made public, like everyone else.'

Lera flushed, embarrassed. For a moment she wanted to walk away, to simply accept that she would never be important in the Fleet or the Republic. But she stamped down on that thought sharply. She was never going to be that person again, she promised herself. 'Then perhaps you can use the services of a Jedi,' she said, willing Dodonna to accept. 'Personal feelings aside.'

'Can you put your feelings aside?' But it was plainly a rhetorical question, as Dodonna continued with barely a pause. 'Very well then. But the slightest un-Jedi-like behaviour will see you dismissed.'

Lera followed the plainly curious soldiers inside, wishing she had some Jedi robes to lend her some authority. She knew many of these men, by sight if not name, and they knew her. But they certainly didn't know her as a Jedi.

Technicians were pulling the pilot out of the damaged fighter. It had been more badly hit than the scans suggested. Smoke was curling out of the side panels and rising to obscure the ceiling. Lera ran forward to assist Dustil. The techs lowered him, semi-conscious and unresponsive, to the floor.

Lera reached out through the Force, searching him for broken bones. 'He's inhaled too much smoke,' she said. 'I think I can…' Her voice trailed away. There were no words that could describe healing with the Force to a non-Force user.

Dustil choked and coughed suddenly. He spat out black sludge and for a few breaths his breath came out like cigarra smoke. Then it faded and his eyes opened.

'Report, soldier,' said Dodonna sharply.

'Long story. Fleet… captured.' He broke into another bout of coughing. The techs nearby murmured and Dodonna realised the mistake she had made in her haste.

'No more for now. Get this man checked out in medbay and have him in my office in one hour.'

XXX

The Fleet dropped out of hyperspace on the outskirts of the Benaar system. Standard procedure in these situations was to let the rebels see the Fleet coming, in the hope that their sheer numbers would force surrender. If that failed, half the fleet would enter orbit around Benaar Prime and open negotiations, while the other half hung back, ready for resistance from the other inhabited planets and their moons.

Admiral Onasi's wing would be the one to enter orbit, and Admiral Dolvenna was not pleased about it. He felt that taking the rearguard position was the place of the younger and less experienced Admiral, and that his diplomatic experience was best in the front. But the _Sojourn_ was fitted with more sophisticated scanners that would be useful for determining the situation on the planet, while Dolvenna's flagship _Impregnable_ had newer and upgraded fighters, better for scrambling against the resistance they expected from the military installations scattered throughout the system. Dolvenna had reluctantly agreed, but the rumour mill amongst the Fleet whispered that secretly Dolvenna wanted Onasi to slip up, so that he would be able to step in to save the day.

Dustil sat in his fighter, ready for launch, and watched on his fighter's sensors as his father's wing entered orbit. He tried to keep track in his mind of what would be happening. _Now_ they would have opened a channel and sent out the standard surrender message. _Now_ they would have received a diplomatic answer while the rebels tried to organise themselves. Any second _now_ he would be scrambled to deal with the inevitable resistance.

But his sensors showed something else. The entirety of his father's wing lost orbital stability and began to drift. Two ships collided and one disintegrated as its hull was breached.

Dustil gaped. Cascade failure on a ship was possible, but throughout a small fleet? What could have caused it?

'All ships, move to the planet. Launch fighters.'

The captain's voice came over the comm and Dustil's fighter launched. The slip tube sped by and he wondered what the hell they were supposed to do. He had been assigned no specific target or objective, just shot out of the tube like garbage.

Gravity pressed him back into his seat before Benaar Prime loomed large through his canopy. They were close to the drifting fleet – closer than was wise, Dustil thought. He could see crackling ion energy wreathing the crippled ships below.

Debris from the destroyed ship flew at his fighter. He banked hurriedly to avoid it. Already travelling at some speed, he lost formation with his squad, who continued without him. The frantic seconds it took him to reorient and plot a course to join them again saved his life.

Dolvenna's wing had pulled into orbit only a hundred kilometres above the stunned ships. Dustil could almost hear the Admiral irritably demanding surrender, though of course his fighter's short band comm couldn't pick up the signal.

A ball of ion energy rose from the planet and enveloped the _Impregnable_. Like static electricity leaping between conductors it jumped from ship to ship in blue arcs that left a glowing afterimage on Dustil's retinas. Several fighters lost hull integrity and exploded in sad flowers of flame.

Dustil stared in horror as the two wings drifted in their steadily decaying orbits. If they weren't salvaged by the enemy in the next hour or so they would hit the atmosphere. Those that didn't burn up on uncontrolled entry would hit the planet's surface and splatter like dropped eggs.

His sensors pinged frantically, warning of a cluster of fighters launched from a nearby moon. Dustil set a course for the edge of the system, hoping his navicomputer could complete the hyperspace calculations before the fighters caught him.

XXX

Dustil finished his story and lowered his head.

All around the table the senior officers were silent. Standing at the back, Lera fought to keep her mask of Jedi composure, though she wanted to scream and shout and cry. _Blood and pain_, she remembered, the vision the Force had shown her as the Fleet left rising again unbidden. _Blood and pain and fear._ What had been a confusing jumble of images now seemed clearer.

Nobody wanted to be the first to speak.

'Send a recording of this to Coruscant Central Command. We will have to await their orders,' said Dodonna.

'We aren't doing anything?' asked Captain Jira.

'What can we do?' Dodonna spread her hands, appealing. 'If anyone has ideas, let's hear them.'

There was silence.

'We don't know what happened to the Fleet,' said another officer suddenly. 'We should send a scouting force to see if they can spot the ships or find out the fate of the crews.'

'They will be watching for Republic ships,' said Dodonna. 'I won't risk more lives until I can be sure they will be undetected. Besides which we have just lost two thirds of the ships and crew available here. We are already dangerously vulnerable to attack ourselves. I cannot send away our last protection without opening a hole in the net of Fleet bases. If an enemy slip through to the Core Worlds we are going to have much bigger problems on our hands.'

'Then you need a ship that isn't part of the Fleet,' said Lera. 'The _Ebon Hawk_ is still docked here.'

'There are people who know about the _Ebon_ _Hawk_ and its association with us,' argued Dodonna. 'The rebels will have access to the Republic databanks. It's all in there, if you have high enough clearance. And make no mistake, there were some high-ranking officials on that planet.'

Lera shrugged. 'I have a computer full of alternative transponder codes.'

'That's highly illegal. Rules apply to _Jedi_, too,' said Jira, wrinkling his nose disapprovingly, plainly unsure whether her story was true. Lera wished again for robes to lend her authority.

'You trust your ship to a droid for just a few months and it's amazing what gets left aboard,' said Lera dismissively. So she had never got rid of them... 'The _Hawk_ can get in and out of there undetected. I guarantee it.'

'Then we'll assemble a team and send them off in the morning,' said Dodonna. 'Thank you, Lera. I assure you that you'll be adequately compensated for the use of your ship.'

XXX

'That's what you think', Lera muttered, throwing her most practical and unremarkable clothes into a bag. 'Compensated! Ha!'

The door chimed and she cursed, sure her plan was ruined before she'd even left.

'Come in.'

Dustil stood in the doorway. He carried a bag very similar to hers. A blaster rifle poked out of the top.

'I bet myself that you wouldn't just let her requisition your ship like that. Looks like I won. You're taking off, aren't you?'

'Damn right,' Lera returned to packing and he followed her into her bedroom, watching her from the doorway.

'I'm coming with you.' He paused. It was hard to find the words for this confession and emotions warred on his face. 'I… I abandoned them, Lera. I just took off. I ran away. I should be shot as a deserter.'

Lera hugged him sympathetically. 'If you hadn't come back, we wouldn't have known what had happened. They would have sent other ships from another base and exactly the same thing would have happened to them. You did the right thing.'

He stared at the floor as she pulled away. 'My dad's going to be disappointed in me.'

Neither of them wanted to add 'if he's still alive', but it hung unspoken between them.

The door chimed again.

Lera frowned. Surely this time Dodonna had somehow worked out their plan… 'Come in.'

'I'm coming too!' Shelya charged in. She also carried a bag.

Lera turned to Dustil. She raised her eyebrow. She would have almost preferred to see Dodonna come to arrest her.

'OK, sorry, I might have let something slip to her,' he said. But he didn't sound very contrite.

'I have just as much right to come as either of you! My dad's out there too!' Shelya's eyes were full of tears but her voice was hard and angry. Lera knew even without the Force that Shelya would not take no for an answer.

But that didn't mean she couldn't try. Spending a week in hyperspace with Shelya made chasing off on an adventure less attractive. 'We don't know what we'll be facing out there. It will be dangerous. We might not come back.'

'I can take care of myself.' She sounded uncertain briefly, but covered it well. 'I can fire a blaster. And I'm coming no matter what you say!' She stamped her foot. 'If you leave me behind I'm going straight to Dodonna!'

'That settles it then,' said Dustil. He sounded pleased.

Lera scowled. Tempting as it was to try to leave Shelya behind, she couldn't risk her telling their secret before they were well clear of the base. She realised she had no choice. 'Let's go, then.'

XXX

Dodonna had posted guards outside the _Ebon Hawk_'s docking bay. Dustil and Shelya shared worried looks, sure that they were caught before they'd even left.

'Sorry, ma'am, but this dock is off limits.' One of the guards stepped forward. He held his rifle ready across his chest, at ease but leaving no doubt that he would use it if forced.

'This dock is not off limits to me,' said Lera calmly. She waved her hand gracefully, as though greeting him. 'My friends and I are allowed to pass.'

'This dock is not off limits to you,' he said. 'You and your friends are allowed to pass.' He resumed his position by the door and Lera tapped her code into the terminal.

Dustil and Shelya followed her into the airlock. 'How did she do that?' whispered Shelya.

'If we get out of this alive, I'll explain,' whispered Dustil back. 'That was the easy bit. Now we've got to get out of the system. Fooling a guard is one thing, but fooling all the sensors on this station is another.'

'But fooling the people operating them is easy,' said Lera. Either their whispers were louder than they thought, or she was enhancing her senses with the Force.

The door hissed open. Red emergency lights lit the interior of the hangar. They cast ominous shadows around the _Ebon_ _Hawk_, making it look like some devilish bird of prey with shadowed eyes.

The ramp opened as they approached and a droid bleeped from the darkness above.

'Get her ready for take-off, T3,' called Lera, striding up into the shadows. 'And be quick about it. We're going to have company very soon. You two, drop your things in the dormitories and get to the cockpit. Dustil, I'm going to need you to fly this ship out of here.'

XXX

The _Ebon Hawk_'s engines fired up cleanly and her repulsor thrusters guided her out of the bay.

'Now it gets interesting,' said Dustil.

'Should someone man the turrets?' asked Shelya.

'And fire on our own people? No. Let me concentrate. I think I could buy us some time, at least.' Lera sat in the co-pilot's seat and closed her eyes. She reached out to the station, listening for the beginnings of surprise in anybody who might have spotted them and diverting them, making them think about other things.

'You're going to sleep?' asked Shelya incredulously.

'Just let her work,' said Dustil.

'If I'd known you were both this unstable I would _not_ have come with you,' muttered Shelya. But she said it quietly enough that the others could pretend they hadn't heard her.

They were about a minute away from jumping to hyperspace when alarms started going off in Dock Command. No amount of persuasion could make Fleet personnel ignore them.

'They're signalling us,' said Dustil. 'Should I answer?'

Lera opened her eyes, focusing her awareness on her surroundings again. She opened the channel herself. A small blue holo of a Republic officer appeared on the console between them.

'_Ebon Hawk_, return to base right away. You are not authorised to depart. I repeat, you are not authorised to depart.'

'Fleet Base, this is the _Ebon Hawk_. I'm sorry you haven't been informed, but we are on a mission of utmost importance.' Lera adopted a calming tone of voice that reminded Dustil absurdly of the voice that told you your call would be answered shortly between the music when you comm'ed somewhere and were put on hold. He grinned, feeling slightly hysterical, excited and scared all at once.

'Flight plans have not been filed. You must ret-'

Dodonna's voice interrupted. Her holo appeared beside the officer. 'Lera, get back here right away. You are putting the security of the Republic at risk.'

'I'm sorry you feel that way, Dodonna. We can discuss the relative merits of a Jedi and a Republic intelligence team when I return with our missing men.' She cut the transmission. 'How long to hyperspace?'

'Twenty seconds. Um, they're launching fighters,' said Dustil. Twelve red blips appeared on their scanners.

'Will they hit us?' asked Shelya nervously.

Dustil grinned. 'Not while I'm flying this bucket.' The _Hawk_ banked sharply as laser fire shot past them.

'They're firing on us!' Shelya screamed.

'Ten seconds,' called Dustil.

The fighters shot past and flipped to face the _Hawk_, matching its speed. The three humans in the cockpit found themselves staring down twenty four blaster cannon muzzles.

'Can you get through that gap?' asked Lera.

'What gap?' shouted Shelya.

'Sure can,' said Dustil. He spun the ship ninety degrees so that it was flying on one wing and they shot between the fighters. Sensors screamed proximity warnings, shutting off as the stars turned to lines and the _Ebon Hawk_ was away.

'I think we might have lost an antenna or two, but we're in one piece,' said Dustil. He sounded pleased with himself, and Lera grinned widely.

'It'll take us seven days to get there,' he continued.

'Did it take you seven days to get back?' asked Shelya.

'Seven days sat in a tiny cockpit, slowly filling with smoke. This ship feels like a cruise liner by comparison.'

'It's still small for three people and a droid,' complained Shelya. 'Do I have to share a dormitory?'

'Unless you want to sleep in the medical bay, yes.' Lera laughed suddenly. She felt more alive than she had in months, bursting with excitement and glee. Until she remembered Carth, captured or dead at their destination. That hit her like a kick in the stomach and guilt rushed in.

'There's one more crew member,' she said stiffly. 'I'll be back soon.'

Shelya and Dustil remained in the cockpit. The young woman stood awkwardly in the doorway and wondered what to say.

'Are they… are they alive, do you think?' Her voice sounded small and echoed off the metal walls.

Dustil shook his head sadly. He kept his face turned away from her. She thought he was being rude, until he spoke and she heard the pent-up emotion in his voice. 'I don't know. They were, but I didn't see what happened to their ships. The rebels would be mad to let all those ships drop on them, but I don't know what they would do with the crew when they boarded. My dad wouldn't surrender without a fight.'

XXX

Lera opened the small cargo hold. The bronze shell of HK-47 stood there, deactivated. She flicked the switches on the back of his neck, watching as his yellow eyes glowed brighter and brighter.

His vocabulator crackled into life. 'Delighted Exclamation: Master! It warms my power cells to see you again.'

Lera felt happiness bubble inside her again. HK had been present for most of her adventures. Awakening him felt like one more step back to those times. 'The feeling's mutual, HK.'

'Excited Supposition: Reactivating me can only mean that you have beings you wish me to terminate. Hesitant Excitement: Am I correct?' He sounded like an excited child, despite his bloodthirsty words.

'Possibly. We'll see when we get there.'

'Query: Who are these beings you wish destroyed?'

'Again, I don't know exactly. I only know they've captured or killed Carth.'

'Statement: I do not know whether to congratulate them or pity them, Master.'

'HK…' Lera warned.

'Apologetic Statement: Master, I merely meant that I will pity them when we unleash our full fury upon them. I did not mean to imply that the Republic meatbag was in any way capable of causing extreme irritation likely to result in his death.'

'Maybe I should turn you off until we arrive…' Lera reached for the switches again.

'Reluctant Submission: My vocabulator was malfunctioning, Master. I intended to say that I look forward to blasting any opposition, should you order it.'

'That's better.'

'Suggestion: The Jedi Exile used to threaten me with violence when I implied things about her crew. Perhaps you could do the same?'

'Keep it up and you might get your wish.'

'Statement: The Republic meatbag was a pathetic… Master, I take it from your expression you wish me to stop?'


	6. Meanwhile

_He was back on the station, walking through familiar corridors. Going home. _

_He opened the door. There were two people inside. They were the same person, he noticed, but he knew now that this was a dream and so it didn't seem strange to him._

_Lera, his Lera, the woman he had left at home, stood in the doorway to the kitchen. She held a mug of something warm and steaming. She wore comfortable slippers and a short white bathrobe tied tightly closed. She smiled at him, but he was staring at the other woman in the room. This one sat on the sofa, her feet up on the table. She also smiled at him, but her smile was predatory. They had not met, but he knew who she was._

'_Revan.'_

'_I can see how _you_ made Admiral. Is the Fleet getting desperate these days, or do you have friends in high places?'_

_Carth had no quick or witty answer. He could only gape._

'_I don't like being in your head any more than you like having me here, so I'll make this quick.' She drew her lightsaber and threw it. It spun end over end. All he could do was watch, knowing what would happen and knowing he was powerless to stop it._

_Lera crumpled as the red blade scythed through her. The mug she held shattered and the spilt caff soaked into her slippers and robe._

'_That felt good.' Revan retracted the blade. 'And frankly it's been long overdue.'_

'_You're dead,' said Carth. 'Killing her won't change that.'_

_'You don't understand the Force, and you certainly don't understand Lera, so shut up. You haven't noticed her mood swings, her a impulses? If she hasn't been spicing things up with you then she's having an affair. I knew you never paid attention to her any more._

_'I'm not dead, you see. I can return. All she has to do is let me in. And she will. Oh, she will! She'll beg me, in the end.' Revan stalked forward, so that her nose was barely inches from his. Red and yellow lights flared in her eyes. Her lips pulled back, revealing sharp canines. She put her mouth close to his ear. Her hot breath tickled his neck as she whispered to him._

'_I am her dark side. And I am coming back.'_

XXX

His eyes were crusted closed with blood. He lifted a hand to wipe it away, but his shoulder screamed at him to stop and he obeyed. He tried the other arm. Better.

Scabbed blood scratched his eyeballs like trapped dust. The stinging made tears spring up, easing the pain somewhat. His eyes flickered reluctantly open.

He was staring at the ceiling. Red emergency bar lights ringed the wall, casting a baleful glow on the grey walls. With every second that passed he regained more consciousness but the pain grew worse. It didn't seem like a great trade-off.

His ringing ears told him that there were other people in the room with him. He could hear rasping breathing. Someone coughed agonisingly and was noisily sick. He felt nausea rise in his throat in response, but swallowed hard. He didn't think he could roll over in time to avoid drowning in it.

He lay there for a few more minutes, experimentally twitching his fingers and toes. Nothing seemed broken but his muscles felt as if they had been systematically torn. Breathing hurt. His nose and mouth felt inflamed and swollen. His head felt as though someone was playing synth-drums in it.

The longer he lay, the more aware he became that he ought to work out who was with him. He had people he was responsible for, though he couldn't recall who or how many, and they could be dying. And if it was an enemy, if he could get his hands on the bastards that had done this to them, no amount of pain was going to stop him. He shuffled upright on his elbows and looked around the room.

The first thing he saw was the shimmering red forcefield. Wherever they were, they were in a cell. Fourteen other men were in the cell with him, lying on benches or sprawled across the floor. They wore torn and burnt Republic uniforms. A quick glance at his own body showed he was dressed the same.

_Admiral_. _Responsible for these others. Got to get up._

One step at a time. He sat up slowly, carefully putting his feet on the floor. One leg shrank back from the cold reflexively. Somewhere he had lost a boot. He rested his bare foot on top of the other to spare it the cold floor.

Some of the others were showing signs of stirring now. A man opposite opened his eyes and grinned at him.

'You look like rancor spew, Onasi.' His voice was croaky.

'I have felt better,' he rasped in return. A name popped into his head. Rohin. This man was a friend as well as a colleague. 'What happened?'

'They boarded us. Gas grenades. Everything's hazy. Maybe a side effect.'

Carth nodded, and Rohin fell silent.

Gradually all the men woke. Carth felt well enough to try to stand and eased himself up, holding the wall for support. He edged over to the forcefield, trying to see into the corridor beyond. It was empty.

'Any room service in this place?' someone asked behind him.

'Where's everybody else?' asked Rohin.

Uncomfortable silence settled between them. They were all thinking the same thing but none of them would voice it. _Maybe we're all that's left._

Carth knew he couldn't let them think about this. Their morale was low enough already. 'We should piece together what happened,' he said. 'Anything anyone can remember about our attackers might be useful.'

'They shot us from orbit with a… well, sir, I don't know what it was.' Carth didn't know the man's name, but the blue stripe on his ruined uniform marked him as a technician. 'Some sort of ion beam. It crippled us instantly. All the power systems went off.'

'That's right,' said someone else. 'The internal doors sealed shut.'

'Good job, too, or we'd have been sucked out when all the airlocks opened,' Rohin added.

'We were falling towards the planet.' This speaker wore the uniform of a fighter pilot and was clearly the youngest of the assembled men. He looked like he only had to shave once a month.

Fighter pilot… Carth felt as if he had been stabbed. How could he have forgotten? _Dustil! He was with Dolvenna's wing!_

The men were in full flow now and he let them continue. If one of them had noticed what happened to the other wing, they would say. They shouldn't confuse the facts by reciting them out of order.

'They boarded us. Quickly, so the ships must have come from the planet, because the sensors showed nothing before they died.'

'They had some sort of device that they used to locally restore power to open the doors,' added someone else.

'They used blasters. But they were set to stun.' A few faces lightened at this. If the enemy had wanted prisoners, then there would be more Republic personnel somewhere.

'And those grenades.' They all fell silent as they remembered the choking clouds of green gas that had been their last sight before waking up here.

'Did anyone see the other fleet?' asked Carth, unable to restrain himself any longer.

'Dolvenna flew in behind us,' said Rohin. 'I saw him from my bridge. He got caught too.'

Carth tried not to think about the personal implications here.

'Stupid bastard,' said one of the marines, with feeling. 'If you can't trust an Admiral to follow his own bloody orders, who can you trust? Why didn't he get clear?'

'Trying to push his nose further up the CCC's arse,' said someone. The men snickered.

'That's enough,' said Carth, not letting on that they were only saying what he had been thinking. It wasn't appropriate for him to undermine a fellow senior officer. Not aloud, anyway. Besides which, if Dolvenna had been there then Carth would have been first in line to strangle him, undermining or not. There was no hope that he would return with reinforcements if he had been caught too.

'We need to conserve our strength. We need to find out a bit about whoever's holding us here, and find out their weaknesses. But until we see them, all we can do is wait.'

'Anyone got a smoke?' asked the grim marine.

'You're supposed to be giving up, Fray,' said another marine from the floor. He hadn't spoken so far.

Fray scowled. 'You sound like my wife, Hinter.'

Carth sat down again. There was nothing to do but wait.

XXX

It was hard to tell how much time had passed, but it felt like hours later that the forcefield flickered out of existence. The men exchanged glances. Was it a trap?

Carth shrugged. There was only one way to find out. He stood and walked out into the corridor. The men followed, the able supporting the injured where necessary.

Carth looked down the corridor. For a hundred metres in each direction the walls were lined with doorways. Out of each one came Republic soldiers, men and women in similar states to his cellmates. They looked confused.

Before Carth could start thinking about issuing orders, speakers in the wall crackled. 'Proceed in the direction indicated by the lights on the wall for food. When the alarm sounds, return to your cells. Disobedience will be punished.' The voice was computerised, female and supposed to be calming. But in their circumstances it sounded sinister and inhuman.

The lights in the wall began pulsing toward one end of the corridor. They began to walk down towards it. After a long time locked in their cells, the offer of food was a strong lure.

The corridor opened out onto a refectory. Machines in the wall dispensed some unidentifiable slop onto reconstituted paper plates. Spoons were provided, but no knives or forks that the prisoners could use as weapons.

Carth did a quick estimate on the number of people here. Judging from the number of cells and the number of people each contained, there were about seven hundred people here. That was barely a tenth of the number that had left Narula.

Despite the long odds, he scanned the sea of faces for Dustil.

'Where's Dolvenna?' someone nearby asked.

'Not here.'

Carth wondered the same thing. He didn't think that all the survivors were here. He had no evidence to say so, but he had a feeling, and he had learned to trust them over the years.

'Everybody listen up.' His best commanding voice rang out through the hall. The disciplined soldiers shut up sharply.

'We need to find out as much as we can about this place. I expect we'll get sent back to our cells soon. When we do, I want a tech in each cell, checking for any weaknesses. Removable panels, conduits, that sort of thing. Have we got any medics?'

Several hands were raised. 'Gather the badly wounded together. I appreciate this isn't a top quality medlab, but do your best. If anybody's got any medical supplies on them, hand them over to the medics. And somebody try to get a look at the far door before we get locked up again. It looks like that's the only way out.

'Now eat up. It might not be very appetising but it's no worse than protein packs.'

The assembled soldiers chuckled at his weak joke.

Someone sat down beside Carth. He recognised him as Lieutenant Tarrant, the head technician from the _Sojourn_. 'Don't look up, Admiral, and keep your voice down. There are several units in the ceiling that are of Republic manufacture. They're spy units. We're being watched.'

'It makes sense. Get word around quietly to watch what we say.' It wouldn't do to talk about Republic secrets if their captors were watching.

'Yes sir.' Tarrant took his tray to the next table. He spoke in low tones, and seconds later someone from the other end of the table got up and moved to the next one. The process was repeated around the room.

XXX

The lights in the cell dulled.

'Guess they want us to sleep then.' Captain Juin of the _Razorback_ stretched herself out on a hard bench.

Carth had gathered all the captains in their cellblock into one cell for the night to question them about what they had seen during the battle. But they had seen no more than his original cellmates. By knocking out all the systems the technology-dependent crews had been rendered blind.

All around the room the officers lay down.

Carth lay awake a while in the semi darkness. He hadn't thought about Lera all day and now felt vaguely guilty about it. It wouldn't do to worry about her, he told himself. She was safe back on the base, with people to protect her if it came to it. The people around him were his priority. They needed leadership and organisation, and he wouldn't be found wanting.

He slept, and didn't dream.


	7. Nights in Bars

So it's been a _very_ long time since I actually wrote this, but I found it on a back-up disc, read it and tweaked it a little, and here it is for your reading pleasure.

You may have to revisit previous chapters. I certainly couldn't remember what was going on!

I actually have an end planned for this, so it _might_ not be another two and a half years before you get the next chapter. No promises though :)

XXX

The _Ebon Hawk_ settled lightly in its allotted hangar and the roar of her engines whirred and died.

'A perfect landing, even though I say so myself,' said Dustil, sitting back in the pilot's seat and resting his hands behind his head, a satisfied grin on his face. Even after several days, Lera had still not quite got used to seeing him in his father's seat, wearing a familiar expression, with a familiar tone in his voice. It… burned, somehow. It was not a pleasant feeling.

'We're here. What now?' asked Shelya.

'We need to look for information,' said Lera. 'But we need to be careful not to give ourselves away.'

'Being captured would be one way to find out where they're being held,' said Dustil flippantly.

Shelya ignored him. She let her frustration ring out in her tone. 'So what do we do? We can't just wander up to the nearest officer and ask him if he knows where seven thousand Republic soldiers are being held!'

'I've found most information can be found in local cantinas,' said Lera. 'Get a few drinks down a disgruntled soldier and he'll tell you his life story.'

Shelya frowned at her. Ever since their hurried departure something had been troubling her about the older woman. She seemed to know things, to have seen and done things that she shouldn't have. Shelya couldn't explain exactly why, but she was starting to think that perhaps Lera hadn't been a nurse all her life.

XXX

The three humans sat around a table, looking for likely prey. Anybody with rank insignia was dismissed immediately as likely to catch them out. Perhaps if more tentative enquiries didn't reveal anything they could risk approaching an officer. But until then they would play it safe.

But this bar was remarkably free of anyone in any uniform. Lera had been skimming the surface thoughts of the drinkers, but without success.

'It's almost time to call it a night,' she said reluctantly.

'Why? We can stay in bed late tomorrow,' said Shelya. 'It's not like we have anything else to do.'

A bell rang by the bar.

'Last orders,' muttered Dustil. 'I guess that solves that one.'

They walked out into the chilly night air. 'We'll try somewhere else tomorrow,' reassured Lera, sensing the despair in her companions. They didn't yet know just how much rubbish you had to listen to before you got a nugget of useful information. _But if we stay here much longer, they'll learn_ she thought wryly.

The spaceport was only dimly lit. Very few people were around, and those they passed hurried on with their heads down, avoiding eye contact. All legitimate business seemed to have ceased for the night. The walkway to their hangar was completely deserted. Rodent-like vermin scuttled in the shadows.

As they neared their doorway, Dustil grabbed Lera's arm. 'There's someone in there,' he said.

Lera reached out with the Force. 'I don't sense anyone. Are you sure?'

'Positive. The door just closed.'

Lera reached for the vibroblade at her hip. 'Stay behind me, but be ready.'

'Won't we hit you, if we shoot and you're in the way?' asked Shelya tentatively.

Lera smiled in the darkness. The half-light made her face feral and wild, warpaint made of shadows in the hollows of her face. 'Oh, you won't.' She hit the door release and waited a few seconds out of the way, half expecting a hail of blaster fire. None came.

She put her head through cautiously. 'Are you sure it wasn't a droid? There's nobody here.'

Dustil lowered his blaster pistol. 'It could have been, I suppose.'

'Wait!' hissed Shelya. 'By the ramp! Something… shimmered.'

Lera stepped through the gap into the bay lights, revealing herself to any intruder in the bay. 'We know you're there. Show yourself.' She might have looked defenceless, but she gathered her strength in the Force, ready to move on a nanosecond's notice.

On the docking ramp the air crackled blue and a robed figure appeared.

'A Jedi?' whispered Shelya to Dustil.

'Juhani!' cried Lera, running forward. She threw her arms around the Cathar woman and they hugged.

'Lera! I am surprised to see you here, to say the least,' Juhani let go of her hold on her old friend reluctantly. 'I recognised the ship, but I thought perhaps you had sold or loaned her. I wasn't expecting you to come yourself.'

Lera frowned. 'Come inside. You can explain.' This was not a coincidence. There were no coincidences where the Force was involved.

XXX

They sat around the table, cradling mugs of caffa.

'I have come from the Jedi Temple on Coruscant,' said the Cathar stiffly. 'I had a vision. In it, I saw the Fleet captured, and I came to see what I could do.'

'You came alone? With no assistance?' asked Shelya.

'As did you, I noticed,' the Jedi replied dryly.

'We're not here in an official capacity,' explained Dustil.

'Neither am I,' said Juhani sadly. 'I asked for assistance from the Council, but they counselled caution. I felt that it could not wait.'

'Sounds familiar,' murmured Lera.

'I am surprised to find you here. In my vision you remained on Narula.' There was a question in Juhani's eyes, but whatever it was, it remained unvoiced.

Lera shrugged. 'I had a… change of heart. I'm glad you're here. We can pool our resources. Have you discovered where they are being held?'

'No. My vision showed that the majority of them are alive. But then, I saw that you remained behind, so I no longer trust its accuracy.' Again Lera saw questions unasked, but Juhani seemed reluctant to ask them in company.

'You can help us search tomorrow. I bet with two Jedi we'll find them in no time.' Dustil yawned suddenly. 'G'night, all.'

Shelya ran off after him. Out of sight of the older women she caught his arm and hissed '_Two_ Jedi?'

'Lera was… _is_ a Jedi. Come in. I'll tell you the story.' _Most of the story,_ he silently corrected. It was up to Lera to tell her the whole truth.

XXX

Juhani watched them go. 'I understand how Jolee always felt now. The young, always rushing around…'

Lera scowled. 'We're not old.'

'I feel it, sometimes. But I suppose staying in one place too long will do that to you.' Juhani leaned back in her chair, stretching her spine out, then relaxed.

Lera turned away. This was cutting too close to the bone. 'It's been a long time, Juhani.'

The Cathar winced. The last time they had seen each other had been on Coruscant, shortly after the battle on the Star Forge. Despite promises to visit, they had drifted out of touch. This was not solely because of the distance, but also the awkwardness that had grown between them after Carth had blurted out his feelings for Lera before all their companions only an hour or so after Lera had rejected Juhani's shy advance.

'I do not bear a grudge,' said the Cathar, seeming to read Lera's thoughts. Her voice held the serene tone only a Jedi could master. 'I understand that there were too many negative emotions for us both to bear. In retrospect, things have turned out for the best.'

Lera shook her head. 'Forgive me if I do not agree right now.'

'The only way you will ever be content is to let go of your emotions,' said Juhani.

'I need my emotions and my instincts. These days, they know better than I what I have to do,' said Lera flatly.

Juhani recoiled. 'You do not mean that. You cannot have changed so much.'

Lera smiled humourlessly, staring off into the shadows. 'Juhani, Juhani. I seem to have spent my life always changing in some way. Sometimes it was for the best. Sometimes it wasn't. As always, I'm going to make the best of the hand I have been dealt.' She met Juhani's shocked stare for the first time during her speech. Her eyes seemed to glow above the darkness that ringed them. 'Whatever that takes.'

Juhani steepled her fingers before her lips. Lera could see the emotions warring to be heard behind the Jedi woman's calm façade, but the Cathar hardened her heart to them. 'You have strayed a long way from the path of the Jedi, it's true. But it's never too late to come back. You can always be redeemed. A wise woman taught me that.' She put on a warmer tone at this last statement, obviously hoping this small reminder of their shared past would bring Lera out of her malaise.

'I have done nothing wrong. I have no need for redemption.'

'Not yet,' said Juhani quietly. 'But there is still time. There's always time. The only constant in the universe is change. Hmm. Perhaps this will help.' She reached into the folds of her robe and took out a silver cylinder. She placed it on the table before Lera.

'My lightsaber.' Lera reached out, but took her hand away before she could close her fingers around the familiar hilt. 'I thought you weren't expecting me.'

'I carry it with me always,' replied Juhani. 'It helps me stay focussed. Perhaps it will do the same for you.'

XXX

Juhani sprawled against the bar beside two mercenary soldiers. She had changed her robes for civilian clothing so that she would blend in. She had also taken her braids out of their usual tight ponytail, softening her face and making her appear less threatening. Lera had tried to persuade her to use the Force on her marks, but so far Juhani had resisted. The Jedi was not comfortable with Lera's seemingly carefree attitude to manipulating others with the Force, although she had mastered a look of wide-eyed innocence.

The two soldiers were verbally sparring with each other for Juhani's attention.

'Maybe, but that time on training in the mountains I bagged four droids. How many did you get? That's right. One.' Farrar sat back, proud of himself.

His friend Lorr grinned. 'Yeah, but who was it got a commendation for taking down those Republic bastards? While, as I recall, you got stuck on babysitting duty while they were all unconscious. Obviously the Benaari military know a good soldier when they see one.'

Farrar scowled. 'Don't even mention that. I had to haul hundreds of them on loaders from the transport down into those caves. My back was killing me.' Suddenly aware that he was losing in the macho stakes, he cleared his throat and changed tack. 'Of course, I was ready for them to wake up. Could have taken twelve of them, by myself.'

Juhani shuddered attractively. 'I do not like caves. They are dark and cold.'

'Not these caves,' said Farrar. 'Used to be a big military place, until the General took over. He sent all the troops to space to man the ships.'

'But what if they escape?' asked Juhani, faking fear admirably. 'There are so many - they could kill us all!'

'Don't worry about that, my pretty,' said Lorr, feeling that Farrar was gaining the upper hand. 'There's plenty of guards and droids. They're not going anywhere. Even if they did get out of the base, there's at least a hundred miles of jungle between them and us.'

Juhani beamed. 'That's a relief. I feel much safer now.'

XXX

Lera watched from a discreet distance. She nursed a drink almost an hour old.

'Benaari ale tastes worse when it gets warm,' said the bartender. 'Want a cold one?'

Lera wordlessly handed the warm glass back, and took the colder one.

'Thank you.'

'Just doing my job.' The bartender was about to turn back to his duties, but there was something reassuring about this quiet woman. She seemed like someone a man could talk to about his troubles. He should talk to her. He would feel better.

'You look like an offworlder,' he said, leaning against the bar. Let the boys take care of the orders for a minute. He'd earned himself a little break.

'You're right.' She was looking up at him. He had her full attention.

'Not many offworlders around at the moment. They upped and left when the General took power. We depended on trade from the Republic, and it's all dried up now.' He waved a hand at the half-empty shelves behind the bar. 'The local brew is good, but it gets tired after a while.'

'There's always someone willing to make a delivery for you.'

'Time was, if you tried that, you got away with a small fine. Now, if you disobey the General's orders, you disappear.' The bartender shook his head. Everybody knew someone who had disappeared. 'In the beginning, there were rallies. Protests at the General's methods. But the ringleaders were rounded up. Soon, most of the people who were there had received visits from the military. Some of us got away with just this.' He raised his sleeve, showing her the long laser burn on the soft skin of his forearm. 'I'd like to think some of the others have made it out of the system, but part of me knows that's not true.'

The woman looked sad. 'I'm sorry. You must have had close friends among them.'

'My daughter.' The barkeeper looked away. Though he felt he could trust this woman, he did not want to talk about this to anyone. 'Now, if you'll excuse me…'

Lera watched him go sadly. The Republic newscasts would be talking about falling revenues and loss of trade disrupting economies if they mentioned this incident at all. Nobody out there wanted to hear about someone else's personal tragedies. And because of that, nobody would ever care that lives were being ruined here. It made her sad, but more than that, it made her angry.

XXX

Juhani smiled, though after an hour of listening to the two mercenaries boast it was more than a little forced. 'Excuse me, I will be back in a moment.'

She walked around the bar to where the ladies' room was. Lera intercepted her and they headed out of the door.

Juhani rubbed at her arms as if brushing dirt off. 'Next time, you can fish for information.'

'But you were doing such a good job of it! Did you find anything out?'

'Do we have maps of the area on the _Hawk_?'

'We have the sensor scans from when we landed. Will they do?'

'Probably.'

XXX

Juhani marked off the landmarks the soldiers had mentioned on the holodisplay. Lera watched, staying quiet and trying not to distract her.

'There are two possibilities. One is here, the other here.' Juhani tapped two areas. They were each a hundred miles from the city, in opposite directions. Lera groaned. 'I think this is the most likely of the two. We know they are in a military base. There is a small village nearby, whereas the other is fully in the wilderness. I think the village might be a supply station. We'll buy a speeder from somewhere and set out tomorrow. We could be there in two hours, three at most.'

Lera shook her head. 'I think stealth is our best option. We'll never get a speeder through that terrain. We'd have to fly above the treetops. And even they somehow didn't see us or hear us coming, their sensors will detect the engine signature.'

'So we walk?' Juhani sounded dismayed. 'It will take at least four days in that terrain. And if we have chosen the wrong location, we will be delayed even longer.'

'Better to be delayed than never arrive at all.'

'I do not think Shelya will be pleased with that.'

'With what?' asked Shelya. She and Dustil appeared in the doorway. They both looked more than a little annoyed.

'She's never pleased with anything. She should be used to it by now,' said Dustil.

'Don't take that tone with me,' snapped Shelya. 'You're the one who insisted on going into that stupid club. It was so loud I couldn't hear myself think!'

'That was good music! I got some of it on a pad to take home with us. Those guys are going to be big!'

'That was _music_? That officer could have been offering to take me right to the soldiers and I wouldn't have known.'

'Believe me, he wasn't about to take you _there_.'

'Well, you _had_ to step in. Now we'll never know.'

Juhani held up her hands for calm. This argument was getting a little too heated for someone used to the company of calm Jedi. 'No matter. We think we know where the base is. We will buy supplies and leave tomorrow.'


End file.
